Pea's Dance solo.. and update!

So, I am no longer a stay at home mommy, as I have started working full-time last Friday!  Hooray!  Although, I will not have much time for my babies, which believe me.. I cried A LOT.. nothing means more to me, than seeing my babies grow up.  I don't like missing a THING.  And I love being the centre of attention when it comes to both my daughters eyes.. but, I do need to help my hubby out, so a mommy's gotta' do, what a mommy's gotta do.  It's taking too long to get to where we'd like to be.. and when the opportunity came up, and I got a job offer.. I didn't hesitate to go and take it.  Too many signs were leading up to that moment.  Anyhow!  Here is today's dance solo, featuring..my one and only.. SWEET PEA! <3

Back to reality..

Today is my last day being at home with the girls..and it's hitting me HARD.  I'm a super suck when it comes to family, or even more, my own kids.  I would give anything to stay at home with them, and watch them grow into beautiful little girls.. but since being a SAHM isn't a paying job, I need to go make some money, and help my hubby out.. at this rate, it would take us a few more years to move out of this apartment.. and I'd like it to happen a lot sooner.. so when my old boss contacted me and offered me a job.. I didn't hesitate to take it.  All the other jobs I applied for didn't even give me an interview, except for one.  And at the job I'm going back into, I didn't apply for, or even need to get an interview.. so I took it as a sign.

Earlier, I held my babies tight, and let the tears flow.  I didn't think it would be that hard for me to realize how much time will be taken away from them.. I will definitely appreciate being with them more so, then I used too, 'cause let's face it.. staying home and doing all the chores and raising kids, is NOT easy, and it is totally draining.  So there are definitely days where I'm too zoned out to enjoy being with them, and what over-tired mommy doesn't snap, when their child/children is repeatedly says, "Mommmy..!" ..every minute or so?!

There's always a rainbow, after a storm..

So I've completely stopped my P90X journey, with sick kids, a sick mommy, and letting stress get the best of me, I had a rough week or so.  But I'm getting my act together, got a job offer at my old job, and finally getting myself checked out at the Dr's.. I hate the Dr's, by the way.  I've only gone regularly, for my babies.

So, I start working this Friday.. I am excited, but at the same time, sad.. since I won't be spending as much time with my babies.. and I know most working parents don't.. but I've been a stay at home mom for over 3 years straight.. and although it's been the most tiring 3 years of my life.. I am surely going to miss it.

Girls night out!

So, for some reason..I've been really down lately.. mostly at random times.  Haven't been like this in a long time, and not sure exactly what's going on with my body, but it's been affecting my mood, and I've been really tired a lot.  Anyway, today was all planned out, and very slowly, things just started falling apart, and I was having a mental breakdown.  I hate breaking down infront of my girls, but they also find a way to take care of me, and cheer me up.

I had cleaned most of the apartment up the other day, and started working on a project for tomorrow (throwing a little Halloween party, for my daughters and niece..so EXCITED btw!), and things just kept happening during this project, that was making me want to give up.  Anyhow, Hailey helped out, and was being a good girl, while her Ate, was forced to nap.. she took a long time to fall asleep, and Hailey ended up waking her up 20 minutes after she fell asleep.  Anyway, I started to get ready to go out, and started getting Hailey ready.. we were to do some last minute running around for specific ingredients, and then go out to eat as a family, at Asia City.  WELL, a half hour before my husband was supposed to be off work, he tells me that he needs to stay at work.  Of course, I got upset, my day wasn't going as smoothly as I'd liked, and then I find this out.. so whatever.. I dealt with it, still got everyone ready, and then I get another phone call, finding out he doesn't know when he would be done, and that he will pick me and the girls up from home, drop him off at work, and suggested I just take the girls out..which I did.  Even though these girls were a HUGE handful, their giggles made me forget about my anxiety, and all the overwhelming feelings I'd get..

Peyton insisted on having noodles, when I told her I wasn't going to order any.. so I ordered a dish, JUST for her.. which I am now munching on (all her leftovers)..

The kids preferred this instead, which I was originally going to order two of.. wish I did!  They ate most of my protein, and my kanin!

After a few stores, we ended up at Superstore (at a location I am not a fan of..super busy!), here's a video of the girls while I was waiting at self checkout.  Felt bad for the one lady there.. EVERYONE was expecting her to help them first.. not in the order her handheld device was telling her to do..sheesh.

Sorry, not sorry..

So hard not to be a debby downer.  So hard to constantly be felt like a total joke.  I'm too sensitive lately, and I can't handle it.  All I do is cry.. whether it's from a super happy moment on tv, or something super sad or sappy on tv.  If someone says something mean to me, I'm crying inside.. UGH!  I hate when I'm down like this.  It doesn't happen often.. but when it does.. I just can't handle being treated this way everyday..

End vent.

Day 20 (P90X)

Feeling so down lately, and always tired, wanting to stay in bed..and just sleep.  But mommy duties are a priority..so let's face it.. that's never going to happen.  Life doesn't stop, just because I want to hit the pause button, and sleep for an entire week.

Anyway, I really didn't want to, but I did my workout that I wasn't feeling to good to do the other day.. Kenpo X.  The first half, I kinda just did it.. not much effort into it, and I was still sweating like crazy.  Then during a break, if pulled something in my shoulder..and I think that was something telling me to stop slacking.  I was about to start the X jumping jacks, and as I was swinging my right arm up, something pulled..and hurt really badly.  I didn't let that stop me though, I picked up the slack, while stretching out that shoulder as much as I could, and holding my arm up, and eventually, the feeling went away.

I did it, got the workout out of the way, and I get a real day off tomorrow.. and I'm hoping I have enough time over the weekend to do my 4th week of workouts.. we will see though.

Even though I don't have many viewers, reading my blog.. this really is just a good way for me to vent, or just talk about myself.  No one seems interested when I attempt to talk about myself..and when that rare moment does come, where someone asks about me, I either freeze up and say something random, and then stop.. or someone cuts me off and starts talking about themselves again.

Being a stay at home mom, I don't have anyone to talk to, except for my babies, who have no clue what I would be talking about, and it would be pretty inappropriate to worry their little minds, with adult stuff.

But, hopefully I get off of this train of depression, and find my happiness soon!

Day 19 (P90X) & other things..

Woke up with a pretty bad stomach ache, had it since last night.. must be from all the crappy food I've snacked on all weekend.. my bad.  I got my workout done early today..even though, I literally did NOT want to do it at all today.  But, I made a commitment, and I'm sticking through it.. until I hit my goal body weight, which is 130lbs (that's how much I weighed 2 years ago, and I thought..YES!  Time to slack.. wrong.. I very slowly gained it all back.  Snacked on bad food.. I didn't portion out my meals properly, and I quit doing HIIT..which was how I lost weight so fast, along with weight lifting..wow this is long..OOPS).

ANYWAYS, today's workout was Legs & Back, followed with an Ab Ripper X workout.  Considering how much I didn't want to work out, I've head the most sweat dripping from my body in a while.. I had sweat dripping into my eyes.  When it comes to leg, lunges are my enemy.  Any there were a lot.. I guess what I should've been doing, for anyone who was curious..was list out all the different workouts.. this will only take a second to google it..heheh.

DAY 5 - LEGS & BACK

01 LEGs - Balanced Lunges
02 LEGs - Calf-Raise squats
03 BACK - Reverse Grip Chin-Ups
04 LEGs - super skaters
05 LEGs - Wall squats
06 BACK - Wide Front Pull-Ups
07 LEGs - step Back Lunge
08 LEGs - Alternating side Lunge
09 BACK - Closed Grip Overhead Pull-Ups 10 LEGs - single-Leg Wall squat
11 LEGs - Deadlift squats
12 BACK - switch Grip Pull-Ups
(switch every 2 reps)
13 LEGs - Three-Way Lunge
14 LEGs - sneaky Lunge
15 BACK - Reverse Grip Chin-Ups 16 LEGs - Chair salutations
17 LEGs - Toe-Roll Iso Lunge
18 BACK - Wide Front Pull-Ups 19 LEGs - Groucho Walk
Toes Out
20 LEGs - Calf Raises Feet Parallel
Toes In
21 BACK - Closed Grip Overhand Pull-Ups
22 LEGs - 80/20 siebers-speed squats 23 BACK - switch Grip Pull-Ups

AB RIPPER X

01 IN & OUTs Target - 25	R____________________	R____________________	R____________________	R____________________	R____________________
02 sEATED BICYCLEs Target - 25	R____________________	R____________________	R____________________	R____________________	R____________________
03 REvERsE BICYCLEs Target - 25	R____________________	R____________________	R____________________	R____________________	R____________________
04 sEATED CRUNChY FROGs Target - 25	R____________________	R____________________	R____________________	R____________________	R____________________
05 CROssED LEG/WIDE LEG sIT-UPs Target - 25	R____________________	R____________________	R____________________	R____________________	R____________________
06 FIFER sCIssORs Target - 25	R____________________	R____________________	R____________________	R____________________	R____________________
07 hIP ROCK ’N’ RAIsE Target - 25	R____________________	R____________________	R____________________	R____________________	R____________________
08 PULsE-UPs (hEELs TO hEAvEN) Target - 25	R____________________	R____________________	R____________________	R____________________	R____________________
09 ROLL-UP/ v-UP COMBOs Target - 25	R____________________	R____________________	R____________________	R____________________	R____________________
10 OBLIqUE v-UPs Target - 25	R____________________	R____________________	R____________________	R____________________	R____________________
11 LEG CLIMBs Target - 25	R____________________	R____________________	R____________________	R____________________	R____________________
12 MAsON (KAYAK) TWIsT Target - 25

So, I took this off the worksheet, deleted whatever you don't need.. (wasn't able to do it for ab ripper..maybe just too lazy..hah) but this is what today looked like!  While I'm at it, I'll list out the other 5 days of workouts I've done as well!.. It looks scary..but it's awesome..

DAY 1 - CHEST & BACK (Follow with Ab Ripper X)

01 ChEsT - standard Push-Ups 02 BACK - Wide Front Pull-Ups 03 ChEsT - Military Push-Ups
04 BACK - Reverse Grip Chin-Ups
05 ChEsT - Wide Fly Push-Ups
06 BACK - Closed Grip Overhand Pull-Ups 07 ChEsT - Decline Push-Ups
08 BACK - heavy Pants
09 ChEsT - Diamond Push-Ups
10 BACK - Lawnmowers
11 ChEsT - Dive-Bomber Push-Ups 12 BACK - Back Flys
13 BACK - Wide Front Pull-Ups 14 ChEsT - standard Push-Ups 15 BACK - Reverse Grip Chin-Ups 16 ChEsT - Military Push-Ups
17 BACK - Closed Grip Overhand Pull-Ups 18 ChEsT - Wide Fly Push-Ups
19 BACK - heavy Pants
20 ChEsT - Decline Push-Ups
21 BACK - Lawnmowers
22 ChEsT - Diamond Push-Ups
23 BACK - Back Flys
24 ChEsT - Dive-Bomber Push-Ups

DAY 2 - PLYOMETRICS (Found this off another blog, deleted description)
Jump Squats for 30 seconds
Run Stance Squats for 30 seconds
Airborne Heismans for 30 seconds
Swing Kicks for 60 seconds
Squat Reach Jumps for 30 seconds
Run Stance Squat Switch Pick Ups for 30 seconds
Double Airborne Heismans for 30 seconds
Circle Run for 60 seconds
Jump Knee Tucks for 30 seconds
Mary Katherine Lunges for 30 seconds
Leapfrog Squats for 30 seconds
Twist Combos for 60 seconds
Rock Star Hops for 30 seconds
Gap Jumps for 30 seconds
Squat Jacks for 30 seconds
Military Marches for 60 seconds
Run Squat 180 Jump Switches for 30 seconds
Lateral Leapfrog Squats
Monster Truck Tire Jumps fro 30 seconds
Hot Foot Jumps for 60 seconds
Pitch & Catch for 60 seconds
Jump Shots for 60 seconds
Football Hero for 60 seconds 

REPEAT ALL (Didn't note the order..you get it tho, right?)

DAY 3 -  SHOULDERS & ARMS (Don't forget Ab Ripper X afterwards)
1 – Alternating shoulder presses
2 – In and out bicep curls
3 – Two arm tricep kickbacks
4 – Deep swimmers presses
5 – Full supination concentration curls
6 – Chair dips
7 – Upright rows
8 – Static arm curls
9 – Flip grip twist tricep kickbacks
10 – Two angle shoulder flys
11 – Crouching cohen curls
12 – Lying down tricep extensions
Then repeat # 1 – 12

DAY 4 - YOGA X

MOVING ASANAS

• Runner’s Pose
• Crescent Pose
• Warrior One
• Warrior Two
• Reverse Warrior
• Triangle Pose
• Twisting Triangle
• Chair to Twisting Chair (Prayer Twist)
• Right-Angle Pose to Extended Right-Angle Pose & Grab
• Prayer twist from Runner’s Pose to Side Arm Balance
• Warrior Three to Standing Splits
• Half Moon to Twisting Half Moon

BALANCE POSTURES

• Tree
• Royal Dancer
• Standing Leg Extension

FLOOR WORK

• Crane (Pre-Handstand)
• Seated Spinal Stretch
• Cat Stretch
• Frog
• Bridge or Wheel
• Plough into Shoulder Stand with Leg Variations into Plough
• Table
• Cobbler Pose
• One-Legged Hamstring Stretch into Two-Legged Hamstring Stretch

YOGA BELLY 7

• Touch the Sky
• Boat
• Half Boat
• Scissor
• Torso Twist Hold
• Deep Torso Twist Hold
• Touch the Sky

(Already listed day 5, so I'll skip it..)

DAY 6 - KENPO X (Just took this off another blog..)

Warm Up

Round 1: Twist & Pivot, Twist & Pivot with Hook & Uppercut, Jabs, Jab/Cross, Jab/Cross/Hook, Jab/Cross/Hook/Uppercut

Cardio “Break”

Round 2: Step Drag/High-Low Punch, Jab/Cross Switch, Hook/Uppercut Switch, Knee Kick, Ball Kick

Cardio “Break”

Round 3: Side Kick, Back Kick, 3 Direction Kick, Side Lunge/High Sword-Low Hammer, Step Drag-Claw/Low Punch

Cardio “Break”

Round 4: High Block, Inward Block, Outward Block, Downward Block, Star Block

Cardio “Break”

Round 5: Front Shuffle-High Block/Low Punch, Knee Kick/Back Kick, Front & Back Knuckles/Ball Kick/Back Kick, Hook/Uppercut/Low Side Kick, Elbow Series, Vertical Punches

I won't list Day 7, since it's either Stretch X or a rest day..  Looking at all of the things you need to do, just makes it looks scary.  But if you just go ahead and just do it.. it's REALLY not that bad.. especially if you pace yourself, feed your body well..and takes the breaks you need, when you need it.

Today's blog ended up longer than I thought it would.. all this gloomy and cold whether is putting a damper on my mood.  Could possibly be the lack of sleep.. but I won't let it stop my workouts from happening..and I NEED to fight all my cravings.. AHH!

Day 17 (P90X)

Early morning workout today.. felt really good afterwards.  I woke up with a big headache.. staying up late, then having little gremlins wake you up early in the morning is rough!

I did Arms & Shoulders today, followed with Ab Ripper X.  For arms & shoulders, I switched up my bands, and used the heaviest band I have, which is the black one for me.  I definitely felt the burn!  I normally have trouble with bicep curls, my tri's were my usual favourite workout..and I felt better doing both today.  I actually saw my bicep flexing as I did my curls!  I've also always had bigger arms growing up.. and I hated trying to fit my arms into sleeves that had absolutely no stretch.  It would dig into my arms, and over time it would hurt..I also felt a little embarrassed about my arms deep down.

And for Ab Ripper X.. I was actually able to do the first 2 sets, without resting..then I started feeling the burn in my thighs on the 3rd set..and had to take a few breaks.  I did most of my sets with no breaks, and I'm pretty proud that I was also able to do some set that had you working out your obliques.. I could NOT do it the first time.. but I can somewhat do it now..which is an accomplishment for me!

Anyhow, need to get ready to head out to my parents house for the day!  :-)

Day 16 (P90X)

Today was PLYO day!  Yikes.. it's so killer..and I struggled the first 2 times I did it.  Today, I felt better about it.  I still had to mix up the cardio based and the modified version of it, 'cause I'm just not there yet.. but I was able to do more of the moves, that I struggled with before.  Like, the Rockstar jump, that I've mentioned before.. I was impressed that I was even able to get both feet off the ground.  I'd say, my favourite moves, are the frog squats, and the lateral frog squats.

If you want a more cardio based workout..Plyo is a fun was to go..you get your leg workouts in.. your heart racing, and full body motion.  And on the plus side, it gets you in shape, so you're able to participate in different sports, if you wanted ;)

Now, I forgot to mention before.. actually, I have mentioned before..that the first phase requires 50% of your daily macros should be protein..and 30% carbs, and 20% fat.  Now, to be honest.. I sometimes cheat.. if you've heard of IIFYM (If It Fits Your Macros), I plan out my meals so that I can enjoy the same food the rest of my family eats.. so I don't eat clean, but I do try to stay on track.  And I wouldn't be able to complete my daily macro goals, if it weren't for the Whey Protein supplement we take.  It's super expensive for our budget, but my hubby allowed it this time..but we bought Whey protein from costco that has 35g of protein per scoop..so you bet I take 2 scoops after a workout.  Otherwise, I wouldn't be able to eat that many foods with high protein, and meet my macro goals.  I'm still a noob when it comes to this stuff..but I learn more and more everyday.

My muscles are really thanking me for it anyhow.. I've compared my day 2 pictures, with my day 15 pictures..and I noticed a change, that I wouldn't notice from just looking at myself in the mirror.  I'm glad I started on this P90X journey.  Even if it's at home, on my own.. and I have to admit.. I don't exactly own the copy I have.. but I was able to get it online..so literally.. it's as good as it's going to get for this SAHM!

One more point I want to make, is I spend less time staring at pictures of myself from 2 years ago, and from my teen years feeling sorry for myself.  I'm getting back to the shape that makes me happy..and I feel good about myself as a whole.  My mind is clear from all (well, I won't exaggerate, I still have some bad days, let's say those, "PMS" days *wink*wink*) the negativity that used to fill my head.  And instead of feeling jealousy towards other people I used to envy, I now admire and appreciate the hard work the people have to endure to get them to where they're at now.

Halloween crafts & REAL baking..

After the girls had their nap, I asked if they wanted to do some halloween crafts that Peyton had picked..and they were super excited.  This was super cute to do with them, and Peyton is such a rockstar, being able to do things on her own, and so is Hailey, for trying so hard :)

Very proud..

Peyton's was the witch, I used the skeleton as an example, and Hailey picked Frankenstein..

Hailey got to choose where to put them..and Peyton wanted to pose with it..

Testing out some cookie recipes, and since all I have is whole wheat flour.. I definitely had to test out how they tasted.  The girls and I thought I tasted fine.. the husband, however..wasn't a fan.  These were sugar cookies, by the way!  I found they were really sticky.. everything was done by hand.. since I don't have a hand mixer, or a mixing bowl thingy..so I don't know if that's why, or if it's because I used whole wheat flour.. anyway..they didn't taste too bad.. you could just tell they were made with whole wheat!

Day 15 (P90X) & other random thoughts..

So, I just finished my workout for today, which was Chest & Back followed with Ab Ripper X.  Seriously.. it's still not easy..I'm sure it never does.. as they say, you just get stronger.  Chest workouts were mostly all push-ups, which are my weakest strengths.  I tried the first round of 4 different pushups with my toes on the ground, but the 2nd time around, I had to use my knees.  It also has a lot to do with my weak core.  Since I'm a week behind on Ab Ripper X.. I struggled with that too.  I wanted to quit so badly, but instead, I paused the workout, and took a breather with some stretches.  Oh, and I have to confess.. I didn't do Stretch X the other day, like I was supposed too.  I wish I did, 'because it's pretty difficult focusing, when some of my muscles (mostly my quads, thighs, and buttox) were feeling pretty tight.

Aside from all that, the other day I was over at my parents house with the girls, while the hubby's went to play ball, and I took Peyton, along with my sis and my niece, Kai (Hailey was supposed to join us, but she's going through the, "I only eat what I want" phase..so she stayed behind with my mom and brother), to the Dollarama over at Garden City.  Now, my hubby is always uneasy when I say I'm going to the store to buy something, because I almost always (not as much as before, since I don't do much shopping anymore) leave the store with more than I intended.. and he set the girl's limit to $20 altogether.  And me, I found a loop hole..he set the limit for the girl's, but not for me.. *wink*wink*.  So here I thought I'd get a few more things, which ended in a disaster.  Spent at least double the cost, but the girls chipped in.

I almost forgot to mention what it was we were buying?!  Remember when Peyton said she wanted to decorate her room with Halloween decor?  Well, that's what all the money was spent on.  Which wasn't so bad, compared to shopping at your typical stores.. like Walmart for Halloween stuff..which for the amount we spent..we probably would've been able to accumulate only half the amount.

Anyway, all the decor is up, and I think the girls are happy with their room..although, I sensed that Peyton wasn't satisfied..as if she needed more.. HMM!  Well, she picked out a pack of Halloween crafts, which I told her they can put up on the walls once they've done them..so seriously, that should be more than enough!

Here is what the Pea picked out for their room..as you can see, their room is chaotic enough.  With the amount of space they have..and the millions of toys they have.. I gave up on making their room look decent..

She just loooooves purple..

A little ghost, and some glow in the dark pumpkins..

This pumpkin, witch, thingy.. that I struggled AND failed to get down.. but their Tita came to the rescue, and helped us out!  (I thought those bats were also stickers.. but it's for the window..and too long for theirs)

And this teddy, which Pea picked out.. she actually wanted to sleep with it..

Oh boy..

Nope, have not my stretch x for the day.. it's either a stretch day, or rest day.  I will stretch when the kids nap..as I haven't spent much time with them..even though I'm home with them all day?  Wahh?  Nope.. mornings are harsh for me.. I am not a morning person..I'm the type of person that hits the snooze button a million times, before I actually get up.  So when my girls are up, and trying to get me up too?  I send them to their room to play.. a few times..till I'm finally up.  I'm probably a horrible mother for doing that.. but I'm a horrible person as it is when I just want to sleep..hah.  So might as well get in an extra 10-30 minutes of sleep before I start my morning routine.

These days, my morning routine consists of getting the girls to feed Pixie.. and I get their breakfast ready while I do that.. I then let Pixie out onto the balcony (it's not easy physically taking the dog outside, with two toddlers to dress up for the cold..not that I did in the heat either.. it's just not that easy, PERIOD).  I serve the baby's their breakfast, and they're usually done before I can even finish prepping my breakfast.. so I always get interrupted about 10 times before I can actually sit down to have my breakfast.  And then as soon as I finally get to sit down, the kids remind of something else they need, so I then have to get back up at least once more before I can start eating.  Poor me!

Today, I finally got all of last year's Halloween decor out (which isn't much, since last year we were stingy with spending..getting more this year.. YES!) and the girls were ecstatic!  Didn't matter how scary a few things looked.. they were shouting, "YAAAAAY!!!".. and Peyton even requested to have their room decorated.  So I'm going to make an attempt to take them to Dollarama later, so they can pick out a few things..and then Pinterest some crafts they can make themselves to put up in their room.. yay?!

Anyhow, now I've just been being lazy, after a full sink of dishes, and the girls come up to me, well Peyton did..and says, "Bye mommy..me and my baby are going to McDonald's.. and then we're going to go to the playground!"..Meanwhile, Hailey (the baby) is cheering, "hooraaay" and galloping (her cute little skipping thing she does, but she's actually galloping).  I'm glad these girls are capable of using their imagination.  Most days, they'd rather sit on the couch like zombies, and stare at the tv.  Out of the millions of toys they own.. they never know what to do with it.  Till I leave them alone LONG enough to tune into their imaginations.

Anyhow, I don't think I ever got into how I don't spend enough time with them.. aside from my morning routine, about an hour after that, I start my hour long P90X workout..and when I'm done that, I feed the kids their lunch and then send them to their rooms to nap.  Usually, by the time they wake up, daddy's home from work.

So, today, instead of taking off into my room to workout or what not, I decorated the living room, so that they can see for themselves what goes up.. and it paid off, 'cause they're not afraid of the window.. which looks like this..

Too bad the lighting makes the counter look too dark.  Last year, I had most of the decor sitting in the hutch (between my living room and kitchen), because the girls were too young to understand that they just couldn't touch.  This year, I'll find out whether they are ready or not to have decor accessible.

Anyhow, that's it for now :-)