Back to reality..

Today is my last day being at home with the girls..and it's hitting me HARD.  I'm a super suck when it comes to family, or even more, my own kids.  I would give anything to stay at home with them, and watch them grow into beautiful little girls.. but since being a SAHM isn't a paying job, I need to go make some money, and help my hubby out.. at this rate, it would take us a few more years to move out of this apartment.. and I'd like it to happen a lot sooner.. so when my old boss contacted me and offered me a job.. I didn't hesitate to take it.  All the other jobs I applied for didn't even give me an interview, except for one.  And at the job I'm going back into, I didn't apply for, or even need to get an interview.. so I took it as a sign.

Earlier, I held my babies tight, and let the tears flow.  I didn't think it would be that hard for me to realize how much time will be taken away from them.. I will definitely appreciate being with them more so, then I used too, 'cause let's face it.. staying home and doing all the chores and raising kids, is NOT easy, and it is totally draining.  So there are definitely days where I'm too zoned out to enjoy being with them, and what over-tired mommy doesn't snap, when their child/children is repeatedly says, "Mommmy..!" ..every minute or so?!

There's always a rainbow, after a storm..

So I've completely stopped my P90X journey, with sick kids, a sick mommy, and letting stress get the best of me, I had a rough week or so.  But I'm getting my act together, got a job offer at my old job, and finally getting myself checked out at the Dr's.. I hate the Dr's, by the way.  I've only gone regularly, for my babies.

So, I start working this Friday.. I am excited, but at the same time, sad.. since I won't be spending as much time with my babies.. and I know most working parents don't.. but I've been a stay at home mom for over 3 years straight.. and although it's been the most tiring 3 years of my life.. I am surely going to miss it.

Girls night out!

So, for some reason..I've been really down lately.. mostly at random times.  Haven't been like this in a long time, and not sure exactly what's going on with my body, but it's been affecting my mood, and I've been really tired a lot.  Anyway, today was all planned out, and very slowly, things just started falling apart, and I was having a mental breakdown.  I hate breaking down infront of my girls, but they also find a way to take care of me, and cheer me up.

I had cleaned most of the apartment up the other day, and started working on a project for tomorrow (throwing a little Halloween party, for my daughters and niece..so EXCITED btw!), and things just kept happening during this project, that was making me want to give up.  Anyhow, Hailey helped out, and was being a good girl, while her Ate, was forced to nap.. she took a long time to fall asleep, and Hailey ended up waking her up 20 minutes after she fell asleep.  Anyway, I started to get ready to go out, and started getting Hailey ready.. we were to do some last minute running around for specific ingredients, and then go out to eat as a family, at Asia City.  WELL, a half hour before my husband was supposed to be off work, he tells me that he needs to stay at work.  Of course, I got upset, my day wasn't going as smoothly as I'd liked, and then I find this out.. so whatever.. I dealt with it, still got everyone ready, and then I get another phone call, finding out he doesn't know when he would be done, and that he will pick me and the girls up from home, drop him off at work, and suggested I just take the girls out..which I did.  Even though these girls were a HUGE handful, their giggles made me forget about my anxiety, and all the overwhelming feelings I'd get..

Peyton insisted on having noodles, when I told her I wasn't going to order any.. so I ordered a dish, JUST for her.. which I am now munching on (all her leftovers)..

The kids preferred this instead, which I was originally going to order two of.. wish I did!  They ate most of my protein, and my kanin!

After a few stores, we ended up at Superstore (at a location I am not a fan of..super busy!), here's a video of the girls while I was waiting at self checkout.  Felt bad for the one lady there.. EVERYONE was expecting her to help them first.. not in the order her handheld device was telling her to do..sheesh.

I've decided..

To take today off of P90X.. Not sure if I went too hard last night, or if it was something I ate.. but I've had a pretty bad stomach ache since last night.. so I've been up at least 4 times last night.. and I've been already feeling exhausted the past week.. today isn't any better.  So, no matter how badly I wanted to push through it, and just do my workout, like I'd normally do.. I think I'm going to listen to my exhausted and hurting body, and take a break.  Even though today would be my last workout for the week.. I feel it's best.. BLAH!

I actually feel a little disappointed that I'm even considering not doing my workout.. but I'm afraid of what state my body will be in after Kenpo X.


Aside from that depressing part of my blog.. yesterday was fun.  My husband goes to a church I used to attend, every Tuesday to play basketball.  This church has a gym in it, and one of my older cousins has had the gym booked (not sure if it's technically), since I can even remember!  They used to play volleyball a loooooong time ago.. but they've switch to basketball maybe 5-6 years ago.  Anyhow, I go there with the girls, so they can stretch their little legs, and be away from home.  My sister goes as well, with her daughter, while her husband plays ball.  Halfway through ball last night, more of my cousins came, with more kids!  There was nothing dangerous on the stage, to give me a heart attack, so they were able to play and run freely!  It was refreshing!

Halloween crafts & REAL baking..

After the girls had their nap, I asked if they wanted to do some halloween crafts that Peyton had picked..and they were super excited.  This was super cute to do with them, and Peyton is such a rockstar, being able to do things on her own, and so is Hailey, for trying so hard :)

Very proud..

Peyton's was the witch, I used the skeleton as an example, and Hailey picked Frankenstein..

Hailey got to choose where to put them..and Peyton wanted to pose with it..

Testing out some cookie recipes, and since all I have is whole wheat flour.. I definitely had to test out how they tasted.  The girls and I thought I tasted fine.. the husband, however..wasn't a fan.  These were sugar cookies, by the way!  I found they were really sticky.. everything was done by hand.. since I don't have a hand mixer, or a mixing bowl thingy..so I don't know if that's why, or if it's because I used whole wheat flour.. anyway..they didn't taste too bad.. you could just tell they were made with whole wheat!

Day 15 (P90X) & other random thoughts..

So, I just finished my workout for today, which was Chest & Back followed with Ab Ripper X.  Seriously.. it's still not easy..I'm sure it never does.. as they say, you just get stronger.  Chest workouts were mostly all push-ups, which are my weakest strengths.  I tried the first round of 4 different pushups with my toes on the ground, but the 2nd time around, I had to use my knees.  It also has a lot to do with my weak core.  Since I'm a week behind on Ab Ripper X.. I struggled with that too.  I wanted to quit so badly, but instead, I paused the workout, and took a breather with some stretches.  Oh, and I have to confess.. I didn't do Stretch X the other day, like I was supposed too.  I wish I did, 'because it's pretty difficult focusing, when some of my muscles (mostly my quads, thighs, and buttox) were feeling pretty tight.

Aside from all that, the other day I was over at my parents house with the girls, while the hubby's went to play ball, and I took Peyton, along with my sis and my niece, Kai (Hailey was supposed to join us, but she's going through the, "I only eat what I want" phase..so she stayed behind with my mom and brother), to the Dollarama over at Garden City.  Now, my hubby is always uneasy when I say I'm going to the store to buy something, because I almost always (not as much as before, since I don't do much shopping anymore) leave the store with more than I intended.. and he set the girl's limit to $20 altogether.  And me, I found a loop hole..he set the limit for the girl's, but not for me.. *wink*wink*.  So here I thought I'd get a few more things, which ended in a disaster.  Spent at least double the cost, but the girls chipped in.

I almost forgot to mention what it was we were buying?!  Remember when Peyton said she wanted to decorate her room with Halloween decor?  Well, that's what all the money was spent on.  Which wasn't so bad, compared to shopping at your typical stores.. like Walmart for Halloween stuff..which for the amount we spent..we probably would've been able to accumulate only half the amount.

Anyway, all the decor is up, and I think the girls are happy with their room..although, I sensed that Peyton wasn't satisfied..as if she needed more.. HMM!  Well, she picked out a pack of Halloween crafts, which I told her they can put up on the walls once they've done them..so seriously, that should be more than enough!

Here is what the Pea picked out for their room..as you can see, their room is chaotic enough.  With the amount of space they have..and the millions of toys they have.. I gave up on making their room look decent..

She just loooooves purple..

A little ghost, and some glow in the dark pumpkins..

This pumpkin, witch, thingy.. that I struggled AND failed to get down.. but their Tita came to the rescue, and helped us out!  (I thought those bats were also stickers.. but it's for the window..and too long for theirs)

And this teddy, which Pea picked out.. she actually wanted to sleep with it..

Happy Thanksgiving!

The last few days have been really nice.  Haven't had much to worry about, and not much running around to do.  On Saturday, Bubble Guppies was pretty sweet.  And the looks on our babies faces were so sweet.  They enjoyed the show, for sure.  We then surprised Peyton with a sleepover at her Ate Kai's house for the night..the look on Hailey's face, however, was a little heartbreaking.  She didn't want her big sister leaving her..but as soon as I got back into the car..my little sweetheart cheered up, when she realized her surprise, was that she had mommy and daddy all to herself!

She was the sweetest kid all night, and it was a great reminder, that our little girls are so different in their own silly ways.  Our Hailey baby just loved the attention, and she was not difficult at all.  Especially at bedtime..did our routine (haven't done a proper bedtime routine in a pretty long time)..and she was more than happy to go to bed.

Yesterday, I woke up early to prepare meatballs from a recipe I saw on Facebook (which BTW turned out great), and we all got ready to head over to my parents house.  My sister and I prepped and cooked our turkey..which turned out better than last year.. HOORAY!  We set the table for all the big kids to eat at, and had a little table set up for the kiddies..it was sweet..and went pretty well.
Although, on Saturday night, I was told our relatives had invited us over for Thanksgiving dinner, which put us in a pickle!  We already had our turkey defrosting, and food prepped for the next day..honestly, we weren't expecting an invite this year..oops!  Hopefully, things turn out smoother next year with the entire family.

Today, it's our second Thanksgiving dinner, over at my inlaws..and I'm so excited..YUMMY FOOD!  Which, I actually have to get ready for, right meow ;-)